#and by the way im being treated ppl definitely expect me to be Better than b4 bc the bad thing causing problems was removed

[bunnyboy-juice]

between having a full body flashback episode last night and an extremely stressful morning after only being back at work for 2 days after recovering from surgery, i feel like ive gotten run over by a truck repeatedly

[basslinegrave]

sonic 3 spoilers (longer - very long thoughts)

just thoughts about something that i would add to the movie

1) i fully expected sonic to take the photo of shadow and maria and later give it to him, since he destroyed everything else and it would be nice like "hey i held onto this for you, might be important" i think it would be a nice way to connect them in an even stronger way. it felt like the rivals to friends was rushed, though shadow seemed to be depicted as more youthful here, i still feel like he would need something more to get through him (but then he def felt something already when he hit tom so it wasnt like a sudden switch or anything)

2) maybe i wasnt paying full attention but robotniks last words came kinda out of nowhere, i really expected them to show at least a little bit of the times stone cared for him. like have him go through the realization and let him feel it on screen a bit longer. maybe he had a moment of thought but i dont remember that. (also it was good but kinda silly in retrospect he really broadcasted it to the whole world 0 shame 😭 just imagining bot from the first movie seeing his future self say that. hed explode)

i would add like 10-20 mins to the movie for this. just let the characters stop for a moment and feel. but then, its a sonic movie. the audience is 5 year olds. it doesnt matter. but i still felt like a lot has been cut or missing? - then again, i need to rewatch it/watch the original to see the original pacing and wording of things. perhaps some things got lost in translation or whatever. i also couldnt concentrate cause someone kept fucking talking over the movie. but what wasnt shown just wasnt shown. also for shadow idk i thought they would go for some brooding scene in the vibe of spiderverse introductions but it went all action but ig they made up for it later i loved the scenes with maria and the stargazing (back when i was into sonadow stargazing was my fave trope for them. stars in general. so this was beautiful. shadow as a falling/fallen star too and in this case it applied to both him and sonic)

3) more music. again this might be just the case of the dubbed version but i felt a severe lack of music? and to me personally the live and learn part felt extremely weak, the orchestral version or whatever it was is nice but here it wasnt hype enough for me. idk, again, maybe the og will feel different but you know. if more of the scenes were treated music wise like the dance ones id be more hyped, i dont like when they use a song but only like 4 seconds of it and stuff. to compare it with an example of what i loved it would definitely be deadpool - the opening fucking slayed and also the like a prayer part. that shit went hard as hell and i didnt even like dp3 that much.

but overall i feel like the pacing was so much better in this one than the second movie and it felt like they actually gave more screentime to the nonhuman characters this time

- this is more critical but there were also parts that i loved and like overall the movie was good, i liked the story, i liked what they did with shadow (i wish they stretched out the tokyo part longer though, that was dope), loved what they did with him and maria, the movie felt balanced enough (but i felt that way about 2 and then on rewatch it was noticeable how many useless human scenes there were so that might change), the gun agents were walking the thin line of being too annoying but it was doable, i loved what they did with walters! also i like wade as a character but this was just enough (people were Groaning when he got on screen lmfao) same applies to the others but i was surprised that was it. so silly

however i still enjoyed 2 more. but this might just be the case of "im super tired, quite depressed, i dont care about anything rn, some ppl fucked me over today and i dont feel good, the vibe is off, i cant hear half of the movie, im too hot and got low bp and keep hearing my heartbeat louder than anything else, and i didnt get a happy ending" rather than "movie bad"

when they revealed shadow in 2 i was jumping off of my seat and gripping the one in front of me. this post creds reveal here was like "oh! okay nice" (<- expected this so 0 surprise or anything)

also for 2 i went in with low expectations and got peak. for 3 i expected better than 2. so i failed myself there

i wish i could say i enjoyed this even more than the 2nd movie. i wish i got back from the cinema just typing out jumbled words and screams on social media like after the 2nd. i got out of this one like "i have to pretend i loved this greatly like i had to do with the fnaf movie" but this was at least better than the fnaf movie to me lmao

fucking sonic prime got more reactions out of me than this movie and i wanted to enjoy it so bad. anyway i need meds or something i ran out of D3 its also that speaking thru me

[violentviolette]

i think i have aspd or traits . but i dont wanna go to a psych and be like " btw here are my symptoms ive never told u about before , have fun ! ( insert the entire ASPD criteria here ) . sorry " because that makes me look bad & i appear the opposite ( passive , fearful , not aggressive ) , & dont want to appear as a threat and i most definitely dont want them to think im manipulating them when im not ( like for example when im just telling them my symptoms regarding other conditions ) . and i dont want to admit to committing crimes incase they report me or i have to go through a security clearance for job reasons and they go thru my stuff . anyways as far as anyones concerned i seem nice but weird but not the type of person to have those kinds of symptoms , and i want it to keep my Good Girl(tm) image . but also . i dont want to start having legal issues , become dependent on substances , pursue any illegal occupation , etc since it would suck to get caught and im only 21 so i keep trying my best to avoid it everytime i almost continue with it , but i need help bad lol . any idea of what i should or can do ? anything helps

okay real talk but literally do exactly the opposite of everything ur doing and also get out of ur own head and stop overanalyzing every thought u have to find justifications for not doing the very simple basic first step towards what u know is the right thing to do but just dont want to because being vulnerable feels yucky and ur scared

i say this with genuine compassion and no judgement because i *absolutely* did and still sometimes do the same thing but unfortunately the only way to get urself out of that cycle is to get over urself and touch grass (encouragingly) so that u just Do The Thing u know u need to do

being open and honest with a therapist about ur thoughts and feelings is the only way to get any actual positive growth or help out of it. u cant fix what u dont talk about and keeping it all to urself will only drive u more and more insane. staying cooped up inside ur own mind without telling other ppl what ur thinking out loud creates a feedback loop of crazy. u gotta hear urself talk to another person sometimes to actually really *hear* urself, u know? ur brain is where the crazy is and u cant stay there alone and expect it to work out and get better. u have to talk it out and be confronted and challenged with other viewpoints to realize where urs are disordered if u look for reasons not to do something u will absolutely find them, and while i could offer rebuttels to a lot of ur concerns, things like how ur medical records and psych details are not that detailed. u doing illegal behavior like stealing or doing drugs is not something that gets listed on those and falls under patient confidentiality. the only thing that gets documented is the official diagnoses name which most therapists are going to be very reluctant to hardline diagnose someone with aspd (and even then it only gets logged with that practice and submitted to ur insurance only if ur seeking care like meds or hospital stays or get incarcerated. otherwise, if u dont tell someone "i saw dr.x at yclinic from 2019-2022, then they have no way of knowing or finding out what that dr wrote on their internal records/notes. there is no centralized database of "medical history" outside of ur insurance company and specific practices internal networks) individual symptoms like "illegal activity" do not get listed and unless ur planning on enrolling in the military or working for the feds no job is looking more deeply than that into ur history unless u personally volunteer it. what comes up when specific companies do background checks with a medical history is ur insurance records. ur insurance only knows what gets submitted to them specifically, if ur therapist doesnt file paperwork with ur insurance to list aspd as a diagnosis they are looking for ur insurance to pay them to treat u for specifically (instead of more generalized things like "depression" "anxiety" or just "mental health care" ect, which they have to get ur permission to do) then there's no paper trail of what u two talk about in that office or how ur "good girl" image is legitimately worthless garbage and will grant u absolutely nothing in life and clinging to it in the false hope that other ppls perceptions of u will change who u actually are and make u happy is only gonna lead u to looking at ur shitty unhappy life in 5 years and being filled with nothing but regret and anger and wanting to kill urself or that while u cant know or control how ur therapist sees u or reacts to the things u share with them, u can control who they are. if u fuck up with this therapist or it takes a turn u dont like or they start treating u badly, u can very much just get another one. u can request a different person at the same clinic for any reaosn or u could switch clinics entirely. most insurance in the us is taken by more than 1 provider in an area and there are almost always multiple practices that take the local insurance. and even then, if u wanna drive 45mins to see a therapist a town over cause u burned a bridge with this one u can do that. ur not beholden to a single person, u can get dozens and dozens of opinions. ive had over 15 different therapists in my life. if u fuck up with one u can always get another

but all those rebuttals dont really matter because if u want to, i have no doubt u could find counter points to all those points. i know i could if i tried. so really it just comes down to the simple question of are u going to keep standing in ur own way or are u going to cut the bullshit and take it seriously and do the hard thing because u know its what u need to do? ur young still, uve got so much time, dont waste more of it waiting for the perfect solution or situation because it will never exist. do it now, do it messy, do it scared, fuck it up and get it wrong a bunch, and then try again and again until it works

[l-tora-l-archived]

HELLO CUTIE WHATS UR MAIN BLOG, SHARE PLS XOXO

HIIII sorry for taking like ten centuries to respond to this but like tbh ;; Im quitting tumblr I think. (ALSO UNI PLS IGNORE THIS LOL ITS MAINLY FOR EVERYONE ELSE CAUSE I ALR TOLD YOU ID POST THIS HAHA😭🙏)

Mega explanation under the cut talking abt some of the trashy behaviour I've had to experience on this forsaken app over the years, but mostly how I feel about it so yeah if you don't care that's alr hope everyone has a good life, cause as I said I quit.

I deleted the new blog I ended up making bc this environment has never really been welcoming to me and I can 100% say that tumblr has actively made my experiences with practically everything irl AND online worse than any fruitful goodness it has or could ever bring. From putting my everything into relationships including comfort, support and psychological + therapeutic sessions for people even over ten yrs older than me (at times older) without even getting a single kind thought back, to the genuine rudeness of some people, to the (excuse my language) but half assed and crude responses I receive ... honestly the list is endless.

One thing I'm trying to get better at is to notice when my presence is clearly not wanted and act accordingly. It's just saddening that the one place where it's encouraged to be your true "nerdy" self, as the catchphrase of this site is, I am not allowed to be just that. I really do wonder what part of me is so incredibly intolerable or forgettable, that I am expected to practically grovel for even ten minutes of people's time - and that's with the closest people I know, forget abt ten minutes for regular conversation I can't even get ten minutes from the people I stood with through thick and thin with, even though I myself struggle really hard to be there and yet always am.

From now on I'll just say that no I will definitely not come back, I will also not use this account and if I ever DO come back it would probably just be a call out thread on SOME people who deserve jail time more than silly time on tumblr dot come /hj (but not rlly hj hahejdsj this is so srs and continues to impact my life after almost 2 years ... but ugh what.ever.😀👍). But I'm also a coward ngl so like that would never happen !

I would say "oh btw I have this account you can keep in touch on ! :>" but truthfully, I am so let down by how uninteractive, uncaring and exclusionary everyone is no matter how hard I try to do the best I can to treat others how I'd love to be treated, and how I basically am sweating to keep convos going, bc in truth I don't think anyone rlly likes me enough here or anywhere really to even want to talk to me in general, so I'll spare you all that. The proof is literally in the fact that I've amassed a sizeable following which I am shocked with, yet despite it all I feel so lonely bc nobody even bothers with me at all whilst ppl who just start out get 50 best friends in such a short time frame. I see I am not everyone's cup of tea.

I once thought maybe just maybe I could have a good time online just how everyone suggests that online is better than irl and it is a reprieve for some. Looks like I am eternally unlucky bc how is online on par or perhaps even worse than irl for me ? And make no mistake irl is atrocious to me too.

I do not mean this to be passive aggressive but I just want to communicate my thoughts. If I was being passive aggressive that'd imply that I knew that everyone here was capable of treating me as I wanted, as I have consistently treated my "friends" on here, as a reciprocated effort. But as this thread suggests, that was and can never be a reality for me.

TLDR // not coming back bc :

People genuinely don't care or don't put in any effort at all

Bullies (mean ppl way at the beginning of my account) + I am let down how everyone let TWO whole adults get away with being weird to a then minor (me) right in front of your faces

Very traumatised and uncomfortable being on this app to the point I can barely even socialise at all from the precipitating impacts.

Hope everyone has a good life.

[coveredinredpaint]

hi! my name is rex too and i think thats pretty cool

anyway, i was wondering if you had any tips on dressing feminine but like,,,, also being able to pass? or tips on being confident enough to not need to pass?

heyy that is pretty cool!!

im gonna be honest with you, i never really managed to pass before starting t. there were like 5 times ppl gendered me correctly but after that they immediatly "corrected" themselves. the only person who didnt was a toddler, i hope hes doing great.

all the tips and tricks ppl gave out never worked for me, never managed to figure out why, im thinking it was mostly my voice.

so i got absolutely no passing advice for you, but i can definitely tell you how to work on your confidence and say fuck you to societies ridiculous expectations

(it turned out longer than i distracted, i cant give concrete advice apparently my apologies)

tw: mention of bullying and some mental health stuff but nothing heavy

before i start i will say that it takes time. it takes time to learn and let go of this need to fit in. to learn to do your own thing even if you have to do it alone. to grow and learn who you want to be or are.

first we need to understand that expectations of how we should act or dress or look, whether based on our gender or not, are absolute bullshit. like straight up made up.

step one is kill the cop in your head. every time you judge yourself (or someone else) for something, ask why you care about that. most of the time its cause you have been taught in some way that what youre doing is not according to "the rules". this can be for the smallest things, like when i get really excited and stim about something i used to feel embarassed because "men dont act like that". sometimes i still feel that way. its not something you can just get rid of, so its important to actively affirm yourself that what youre doing is okay and that you are allowed to do what makes you happy.

dealing with yourself is already a hell of a challenge, but other people, that something else. i hope you live in an accepting area and i have heard many stories of people are queer fully accepted for it. but often thats sadly not yet the case. surely isnt for me at my school. there are people who are gonna make you feel like shit, who are gonna call you all the horrible things the voice in your brain calls you too. you are gonna wish you were "normal" sometimes, even if you dont really mean it.

going back to normal? going back in the closet? letting go of the clothes that make my feel better even on the most dysphoric days? fuck no, i finally started to get myself, my life back, im not sacrificing that for some teens whos names i dont even know. so you turn it around, no longer "why do they treat me like that" but "how dare they treat me like that" if they kick you while youre down you better bite their ankles and dont let go. most people who bully people who are "other" are terrified of what they see in us. we are living proof that their belief of how the world should work is very wrong. they call you a fag and a tranny? you better come to school next day in the gayest clothes you own. they call you an emo and bark at you? you better be dressed even more punk the next day. they may laugh at you, yell at you, even record you or push you around. it doesnt matter, they hold no power over who you are.

but please do not try and carry this alone. dont let yourself turn bitter. its is difficult to be treated like shit for simply existing. even when it doesnt hurt as much as it did its still exhausting. find someone to talk to, whether its a family member you trust, a friend, a mental health professional or other queer people online. its important not to suppress your feelings. get them out, by either talking about them or writing or making art or music.

know that its your life and you can live it however the hell you want. be kind to yourseld, be kind to others. if you are not where you want to be to right now you will in the future. cant really call it a life if you didnt live for it. it will get better, you just got to keep going and keep fighting.

[ugly-anarchist]

I know you're probably going to respond really immaturely to this so my expectations are low but.

I just want to say that people ARE in fact killed over romance. Some countries like Pakistan and India have strict social norms surrounding romance (and yes they frown upon even the most typical non-interfaith cishet romantic couple you can think of). They prioritise arranged marriage and while the situation is changing a bit, lots of people have and still do face violence such as honor killings, being forced into marriage, being married as literal children, etc.

Due to the fear and hatred around romance these societies have created in order to control people. Im south asian myself and my country does this about romance. Its not always so easy for people everywhere to engage in romance without facing abuse or violence. In talking about the things you do on this blog, please don't ignore the reality of people other than yourself. Just because where YOU live people only face that over sex, doesn't mean that its the same everywhere in every single culture.

And by the way, Im aromantic as well and I have to say that treating something neutral (that can be harmful or beneficial or neutral depending on how someones romance is) as inherently harmful is a dick move even if no society in the whole entire world held these views.

You are allowed to hate romance and not want anything to do with it. I think that experience is great and should always be supported. I hope romance repulsed people are able to avoid romance and have ppl respect their boundaries. The only problem comes when anyone, because I really don't think ONLY romance repulsed people do this from my experience, decides to act like romance is *inherently* immoral and harmful.

That ideology can and will harm people. Just like how being sex negative wouldn't suddenly become ok if the world happened to be completely sex positive and never sex negative in any way.

"I know you're going to respond immaturely" is a really great way to start an ask and definitely paints you as the more "mature" and "reasonable" one anon /s

It's almost like... I never actually said that romance was inherently bad and that actually what I said was that how romance is depicted in most English speaking countries there's an underlying implication of ownership that's really toxic

It's almost like I never said what you're claiming I said and you're putting words in my mouth in order to completely ignore my original point

Yes of course anon my justified anger and sass make me immature because you're clearly just trying to show me how wrong I am for saying *checks notes* things I literally never said. Round of applause because clearly you're the sole beacon of hope in this otherwise bleak world that I've created by saying "acting like you own your romantic partner is bad"

But please, keep ignoring my original point because it clearly makes you very uncomfortable that people criticize the way romance is expected to be performed in society. Whatever makes you feel better. Don't unpack that clearly deep-seated internalized amatonormativity that keeps steering you away from critical thought, I'm the bad guy for, again, things I never said.

[temikoangie]

Tenko being a buddhist and keeping true to these beliefs even when it's not the logical thing is what makes Tenko my fave so while I understand why people w some types of religious trauma would dislike that part and interpret the master as a bad influence, as someone whose religious trauma was getting my religion demonized, seen as toxic and dismissed, it works for me as much better to interpret him as well meaning. I actually think I've seen way more people portraying him as toxic than anything

i wanna quickly preface this right now tht I Am Not a Buddhist Nor do i practice Buddhism so if i ever get something wrong here Please do correct me im entirely open to crticism on that part. ( i realize now i didn't end up going indepth to your religion as i expected but i am Very much open to feedback if desired)

personally if people Do interpret master as a toxic influence Solely because of the religion that he himself raised tenko in, i think theyre!! very horribly wrong ! there is nothing wrong with that at all, tenko's beliefs really do align very similarly. however my main ick with the master that tends to get overlooked is How he essentially treated the whole ''hating men'' thing.

Tenko, canonically told us themselves, that they use their neo-aikido abilities to go out every day & night, to help bring justice. Whether it's helping an elder cross the street, tracking down a thief or even sexual predators on the train !

the 4th dialogue especially concerns me, seeing there wasn't any limit on what situations tenko is essentially sent in to diffuse. and it seems like they've been doing this since they were young! ( at least young enough that it would've seem like they've been doing this for... practically their whole life) Who knows what kind of things tenko was exposed to !! and in the next FTE we pretty much get a confirmation as to why tenko hated men, and it was because their own master reinforced the idea that men shouldn't ever be touched, lest your abilities gets drained out. I get that the master is trying to shape up tenko's moral compass (hence stuff like ''No getting excited about the holidays, dont eat 3 more sweets per day, dont touch men etc etc)

(thisis also the same fte where tenko ''finds out'' that their master is a man and completely freaks out )

i get what the master is trying to do here but like... that's definitely not something you should say to your Very Impressionable Child who's already seen things they probably shouldn't have to experience at their age. there are definitely less.. traumatizing ways of doing this.

Did the master intend to do this maliciously? or did he meant it well and didn't realize the profound effect it would have on his Essentially Foster child ? who freaking knows. the game never really gives us any better hints for either side, but regardless of intention, it's still not a very smart thing to do to this traumatized person with emotional dysregulation .

now going back to the buddhism ppl who insinuate that master is a bad influence on tenko Solely because his religion is stupid and kind of weird! like idk how explain it to you but i don't like the attempts of demonization of other religions that isnt your typical Evangelical Christianity type thing. ppl who think that Is the Reason to interpret master as toxic is ! wrong ! and Should reevaluate why they see master as toxic ! and i am here Personally to tell you that Maybe master shouldve idk. taught him to redirect his energy to something else entirely ! that doesn't involve giving him a freaking savior/caretaker complex! people shouldnt use this as a chance to demonize buddhism!!!

[bisexualnamjoonie]

I absolutely agree with you about 3D. It's another medicore song by JK, just like Seven. I don't know how much it's his idea and how much it's just producers but it's not possible that he doesn't know what his own song is about. Come on. I see that people still look for excuses like he wasn't aware. I actually thought long time ago that he's got typical. sexist white boy's mindset. His behaviour and style and the way he talks reminds me those fukboys from tinder that I used to talk to. He's not fluffy, sweet boy. When I saw him smoking on that video, I felt he was exavtly in his ,,authentic energy''. It's obvious that korean idols are sexist and racist.

oh yeah no it definitely isn't. he's an adult, at first (bf seven came out i mean) i wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt but at this point pretending he isn't part of the problem and responsible for his own choices is infantilizing. it's not hybes doing, he's making his own choices and he should be held accountable for them.

i am so tired of armys trying to excuse him or pretend like he's a perfect little baby star candy. his fans need to stop treating him like a child. he's an adult man who like any other human being will do/say things that are not okay. the problem here is that he and hybe are supposed to know better. because he has ppl whose work is supposed to be telling him "this is not fine/will not be alright with the public". like i expected NOTHING from this song so the fact that they managed to do even worse than my non existent expectations is baffling to me.

and idk about who he really is but yeah, it's not the first time i think he's being a major red flag lmao. the comparison with straight men on tinder feels on point, and im so sorry you had to experience that op 😩🤢

idk about all idols being more racist and sexist than anyone else, i think they're just another reflection of the society we live in. but it's true that bc men idols are put in a position where women (especially younger ones) throw themselves at them they'll be in a position to abuse that power, so like any other men in those fields they're likely to abusers (but in my opinion not as much as men who work behind the scene like producers or CEOs. cuz they don't have to deal with the spotlight and have more decisional power than any idol could ever have).

racism in South Korea is a complex issue, i don't feel qualified talking about it since im not eastern asian and even if im poc, i was raised in a western country and don't want to be giving lessons 😅 but anyways in 3d specifically the racism comes from the white man so, you know, who's surprised there certainly not me 🤷

[woozi]

beloved yza 🤍 how do you like the cb?

AL OMG???????? HIIIII THIS IS SUCH A NICE SURPRISE 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

this might be long and rambly as shit but since u asked 😋 i really am SAURRRRR excited!!! i really have forgotten what svt cbs were like bc i got so incredibly busy but im SOOO so glad i'm here for it again <33 i haven't participated in anything else like i used to before (i.e: watching all the interviews, keeping up w/ all the appearances n shit 😭), so i haven't seen anything else aside from the mv & medley/did anything aside from listening to the whole EP. HOWEVER!! i can definitely say it well exceeded my expectations! for me svt comebacks just kept getting bigger and better since attacca, and honestly the pre-cb hype and General Good Vibes we were getting from that era just kept getting carried over their more recent releases! i'm glad there's that kind of energy (on my end at least) with their cbs!! and honestly, i'm so so happy to see them getting the recognition their unceasing hard work deserves. they're not a loud group, if that makes sense (like, when u ask ppl outside of korea abt kpop groups they most likely would not mention svt off the bat), but they really are so stable and they're only consistently getting bigger not only because of all the work, but also because of how well they just treat carats as well. it really does feel like we're a team to a certain extent 🥹

honestly my only gripe this time is abt the faded mono life concept bc idk... i feel like the company concept has been used and reused to death (and we've already seen so many similar concepts from the boys), but i also acknowledge that they're trying to fit it all into the fml overarching theme (and the title alone is v smart!!), but i really wish we had a ver with the traditional fits 😔 ALSO ICB I'VE MANIFESTED THIS i literally have been mentioning how i wanted crazy concept photos like the a.c.e hanbok ones to my irl carat friends and seeing it come to fruition makes me feel successful LMFAOO

there r so many things i'm glad abt w this comeback, esp chorus center dino <33 so deserved if i might say so heheheh. (im just going to ignore woozi btw) but i also fear i have cemented my dolly traits 😭 the mv for super was also such a nice surprise to me (but i also feel slightly bamboozled bc, again, this was so diff from the concept photo teasers just like attacca era as well lmfao). AND SPEAKING OF THE MV AND THE SONG ITSELF, I REALLY LIKE HOW SVT SUPER IS??? ik people say svt isn't sticking to their distinct sound anymore, but from the concept (that really speaks a lot about woozi, and which is also giving me a sense of shared childhood bc i also grew up watching dbz lmfao), THE LYRICS, and just the performance aspect of it all... it's so svt to me <333 i fr luv my team and luv my crew. ALSO LOVE THE REFERENCES THEYVE PLANTED IN THERE, everything's really well thought of. the composition of the song itself too is so fresh to me, i love how they structured the song and the way there r sm variations!! the double title track was also a smart choice it JUST makes so much sense

tracklist wise, i'm generally pleased with all of them tbh <33 also liking FML (the title track) a lot more than i expected!!! i was expecting to like it the least ngl, but not bc she's a shite track but the Sound we got from the medley just wasn't what i usually gravitate to. i expected it to be 'FML 👹' and not 'fml 😔' based on what theyve been saying tbh NDNJDJD i also fucking LOOOVE fire so much, as a noise enjoyer she's my top song rn <33 i really appreciate how they gave us a more varied sound this time around (while still being cohesive), and i really think they were able to highlight each unit's strengths so well. ALSO OBSESSED W THE PERF U SONG <333 they really never fucking miss!!! that being said though i hope we get more crazy subunits in the future (i.e: a diff mix of members) <33

i feel like i still have sm to say but i've forgotten them all bc i'm so excited LMFAOO BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME WHAT ABOUT UUU <33 HOW HAVE U BEEN WHAT R UR THOUGHTS ON THE CB HOW R WE FEELING ABT SHORT HAIRED WONU AND HOCHI EYELINER 👁️

[bellamysgriffin]

would love to hear your gilmore girls s6 thoughts!

lmao i don't even know where to begin i have so many! let's bullet point it

so i can see why people point to this season as the beginning of the downfall of rory gilmore. girl crumbled after someone said one mean thing to her, immediately committed a felony and dropped out of school. that said, i did like that storyline for her, it was interesting, but. i was definitely on lorelai's side. i think rory behaved pretty badly throughout that storyline – and frankly throughout the season. i feel like the only person who points out that the scene with rory/richard at the end of s5 was a pretty manipulative scene on her part, but i also feel like the show agrees with me, since they point it out several times lmao. like, that girl realllllly did not want to face any consequences, and so she went to the person who would guarantee that for her. 

in general, i do think the writing has gone downhill, and that’s in large part due to so much of so many episodes being dedicated to antics instead of actual storylines. side characters have been getting broader and broader. it feels like everyone aside from rory, logan, luke, lorelai, emily, and richard are basically operating at kirk levels of zaniness. one kirk is fine but they can’t all be kirk, you know?

i think that could have been solved by giving side characters meaningful arcs. which means it’s time to talk about the paris of it all. they’ve fully bastardized paris and i could not be more disappointed. she’s my favorite character on the show, and i think it’s wild that instead of showing her grow or have any arc, they’ve regressed her to being socially inept. like can you imagine s6 paris leading madeline and louise around and running things at chilton? paris has always been intense and frank and kinda mean, but she’s not like. terrible with everyone. the running joke that everyone secretly hates paris was really mean-spirited, especially considering how long she’s been on the show. they had a storyline in which rory publicly clarified to a room of ppl who she knows hates paris that she does not consider herself paris’ best friend. 

i will say they got better at writing for her again by the end of the season. but i feel like they could give her an arc in which she’s confronted by the fact that a lot of other students at yale are as driven and smart as she is. she claims that rory is her only real competition but get real. they go to YALE. are you expecting me to believe that rory is the smallest person here?

also they could have given her a meaningful romantic subplot a la lane/dave, instead of just dumb comedic fodder with doyle. (i say this even though im a parisrory but).

SPEAKING OF LANE, the way they wrote the breakup with dave was WILDLY bad. so contrived. i don’t think they ever gave the storyline with lane & her mother the kind of weight it needed, and i’m disappointed by what seems to be a very long slow character assassination. 

also. hot hot take about logan/rory. i prefer jess and jess/rory mostly because i think that was a better, more interesting story and i was therefore more emotionally invested. that said, i do happen to think logan treats rory better than any of her other boyfriends did. and yes, that includes the sort of cheating storyline. i can go more in depth if u want, but i do firmly believe this to be true. (logan himself i find kinda smug/smarmy, but i don’t mind him. i do think that’s what rory is looking for right now, and it’s kind of a signal of her embracing her grandparents’ lifestyle.)

finally, the luke/lorelai of it all. oh BOY am i sad. the april storyline was RIDICULOUSLY contrived. april herself is a fun kid, but i see no reason why her existence should make luke have to postpone the wedding?? the show could never give a reason. how does april prevent luke from committing to lorelai? and why wouldn’t lorelai say anything? they both acted really out of character in order to make that work as a complication. and it just didn’t. (i also don’t love how the first few episodes of season 7 seem to be letting luke off the hook just bc lorelai slept with chris. like you wouldn’t let her into your life!! that’s why u broke up!! not bc she slept with chris or bc u “weren’t right for each other”!!)

i feel like they wrote this partly bc ASP didn’t know what to write. i think that explains the antics-heavy season, dumb side plots and april fiasco. they could have given paris a meaningful arc in that time, but they didn’t. and what they COULD have done with luke/lorelai is just…. give them a kid!! i say this as someone who is not super crazy about baby storylines typically, but on gilmore girls you could do SO MUCH with it. you get rory dealing with a sibling after being her mom’s whole world for her entire life, you get emily and richard getting a second chance at being there from the beginning, you get lorelai having a kid with a stable life and support system, and you get luke and lorelai navigating parenthood together. so much potential tragically wasted and i’ll never get over it.

also…… i’m only on 7x03, but i can’t believe luke/lorelai get married in AYITL…. a full twenty years after lorelai dumped him for not marrying her….. LUNACY

[xxstrawberrybunxx]

Yippie I love talking abt myself !!!!! :} I feel that the criteria is written more for an outside perspective on npd rather than someone who actually experiences it. This makes it very difficult to get people to believe I even have npd because it is a deeply internal disorder, and for everything that could be obvious to some (like arrogance or a lack of awareness of others) there's like a million combinations of possible symptoms buried underneath.

Ok so for the inflated ego and expecting special treatment thing, I don't think it would be obvious to most ppl that I do experience this symptom because I'm very good at masking it (well I mean I am now I sure as fuck didn't used to be), but I often just kind of subconsciously expect things to happen to me just because I exist, without me doing shit to get it, and when they obviously don't happen I get really hurt and upset cuz why isn't anybody acknowledging me and my clear superiority??? I'm literally perfect I've done everything right (hasn't done anything at all). This can be in reaction to declined "special favors" or people not giving me anything I ask for, it can be the weather not being what I expected it to be, it can be me being punished for something anyone else would logically also get punished for, it can be me not winning an award I'm not guaranteed to win. I think ppl would expect this to be because I was spoiled or something as a kid but really I was kind of ignored and singled out a lot lol. Me not getting "special favors" was, from my perspective, me not even being treated like a person at all. Just a little bit of perspective I guess.

Exaggerating achievements and lying- I don't do this super often (anymore) but when I do it's because I'm terrified of being seen as "lesser" because of something I haven't done, not only do I have to be equal to everyone else in this invisible social hierarchy I have to be BETTER at all times or else I feel I'm undeserving of any social status (which is another thing, obsession with a social status that doesn't even exist outside of my own brain). I also tend to over exaggerate my "worse" traits so that people can't expect anything from me so I can never disappoint anyone. Oh yeah, i def got an awful grade in that class!!! Don't look at my actual report card, if you do that you'll see that I was actually just average, and just average is basically failing anyway... (another note- I could be doing perfectly fine, execrating even, in a class and genuinely think I'm doing badly just because other people are directly getting praised for it and I'm not! If I'm not given praise I'm basically average, otherwise I'd be recognized for my superiority bla bla bla stfu /nay)

I feel like my primary experiences with npd is an obsession with social status, an obsession with being better than everyone else (and a refusal to do things that I know I'm not good at or participate in things I know others will be better at), an obsession with myself and a tendency to only be able to really perceive things as to how they relate to myself, constant masking and a tendency to meticulously build a social persona (or multiple social personas for different situations) instead of just being myself (to the point where "just being myself" is yet another mask and yet another persona), very intense RSD and fear of social rejection and criticism, feeling intense dysphoria and feeling like I'm a failure as a person when I'm feeling left out of something.

Some other things that I'm not sure are just npd things but feel like definitely are at least somewhat related are social exhaustion despite being extroverted (because I'm literally constantly checking myself and making sure everything I do is calculated in some way, without a real goal of why im doing it other than "so you can't be rejected!!! So you can't be told you're doing anything wrong"), any indication of someone losing interest in me leading to me absolutely convincing myself they hate me and have "finally seen who I really am" (not that I know what "who I really am" is, other than some gross, unlovable version of myself that doesn't even really exist outside of my brain).

It's a complex disorder with a lot of layers but people often forget that it's literally cluster b which is "the emotional" cluster, it's a very emotional disorder and it doesn't have as much to do with other people as ppl like to think it does (no, we don't seek out "victims" to abuse for emotional validation or whatever, though the occasional supply boost is nice (compliments + attention)). Tbh I actually think the supply thing makes me more vulnerable to being addicted to social media than it makes me a danger to "leaching off people irl" which is yet another less-looked-at symptom ig.

I'm very glad more people are open to talking to us about our experiences directly rather than just listening to the misinfo ppl spew abt our disorder :} it's a hard one to talk about but it shouldn't be.

a few questions for ppl with npd abt your disorder if thats ok <3

i think the criteria for npd is written in a very confusing way and more about fearmongering rather than actually helping someone identify when they have npd, so i’d like to respectfully ask for a bit of clarification. i spent a while believing ppl with npd are my enemy and i’d like to rectify my lack of knowledge on it.

Keep reading

[theunconcernedembalmer]

ok i got the aesvic out of my system now time to pick apart the letter n why i wont really be following aesops diary exactly here. literally no one asked but i wanted to get my thoughts down somewhere cos i have. a lot

just gonna put a quick rundown of aesops diary entry as a refresher (mostly for myself so i dont miss anything): he dreamt that he was helping jerry with what was probably a murder n was affirmed n he thinks its a sign congratulating him on carrying out his duty. over the years, he carries out his duties as an undertaker n comes to the manor looking for a “fresh start” aka what sounds like his first victim. according to aesop, said victim should be quiet, n potential victim number 1 is victor. something about badly needing him to become his “silent friend” n he mentions he’ll get to wick n the 2 other survivors in due time, but for now he’s very eager to start his “mission”.

im generally okay with the letter (i have seen so many fights over this aha) cos there is no surprise he wants to kill ppl (ppl who r fighting over this point. did u even read his deductions?? guy happily killed his mentor??). but i didnt quite like the fact that he still looks up to jerry (although. i guess thats valid i just. dont like it). i was also initially kind of confused about the real reason why he would want to kill ppl since as u progress through the letter it sounds less like he kills for duty (cos of the whole dream thing at the start) but more “because i want to :)”, which is an okayish edgy kinda take imo. like not that u cant characterize aesop as Kill Kill Murder Die, but i kinda find that. pretty boring in the long term.

im just gonna put what my original take on aesop was, like all of it. first off, he hates jerry. u cannot tell me a psychotic serial killer like that can raise a child without emotional trauma. like any child, this isnt even counting the extra damage done because hes autistic. (n i also hc that aesop has read his moms letter to him at some point, n he should have come to the conclusion that it was somewhat also jerrys fault, whether through logic or denial that his mom would want to leave him, so that just adds to it.) but as much as he hates him, his teachings are the only ones hes been exposed to, n its been so ingrained in him since young so even if he hates jerry he would still subscribe to whatever twisted ideology jerry was feeding him, which ill get to in a sec.

going through his accessories, he has that origami that he folds for each of his clients, n it shows that underneath it all, aesop is still kind. this isnt expected of him n its definitely not part of his job scope as an embalmer. he (still?) has the heart to wish the best for those that have departed n takes the time n effort to fold one for each n every client he sends off, which is probably a lot. so going off on that, my hc is that jerry, being the manipulative asshole that he is (who probably definitely manipulated his mom into indirect suicide) probably used his kindness against him to make him believe that by murdering ppl he is helping them, framing all of his serial kills as a sort of mercy kill (like his mom). so the thing that aesop takes away from all this is the very twisted logic that by killing ppl he is helping them, therefore being a good embalmer and a good person in general. n everyone wants to be a sort of good person, or at least for aesop that is part of his job description to be a good embalmer. n we all know aesop is very serious about his job.

i also hc that he has killed several ppl between killing jerry n coming to the manor, cos i follow the story that he took the invitation from that poor lady n thats how he ended up at the manor. surely the lady didnt come to him right after jerry died?? but anyway, the way i see it is that he thought he liked to kill. like he finally truly understood why jerry kills so much (which is interesting now that i think about it. guy really just went along with all those murders without truly believing huh), because it felt good to kill. at least thats what he thought, the revelation that killing felt good n is good, but i say its because he hated jerry, n offing someone u kinda hate should probably feel pretty gucci. n its also so much easier to pick clients off the streets than in the manor, so i would think that he has killed ppl like his mentor did, but each time he did the great feeling that came with ending ppls life just. wasnt as good as the first time round. it just became a sort of normal satisfaction of a successful embalming.

this can go two ways: 1. he keeps on killing to try to find that great feeling again, which is cool i guess (n probably what canon would want, except canon states that he hasnt killed since jerry), but id like to go with 2. he just stops because jerry isnt around to enforce it whenever he isnt feeling up to psychoing someone to their death (which is probably how jerry got his victims, n damn if that doesnt take a lot of mind games that i dont think aesop has the mental capacity for since half of it is fighting with his social anxiety n other issues. dealing with alive strangers?? no thanks?? i doubt he would have learnt properly how to lure in clients as efficiently as jerry because of this, mostly cos he was only needed for the murder afterparty aka embalming n funerals). n as much as he stays professional, there is no. professional way of gaslighting someone to their death.

(n also since ppl have pointed out that his twitter replies n other kinda informal stuff have shown that aesop does have reverent respect for life, which also adds to him not being so blindly bloodthirsty as implied in the letter. i dont really see the twitter replies as very canon, but it does make sense that he would come to revere life with his unique take and obsession over death, for one cannot exist without the other)

so this leads me to the motive that aesop brings to the manor, at least how i see it. he isnt exactly coming to the manor to kill per se (like from the very early story, he came to the manor to return the letter to a relative of the deceased lady, something about respecting her last wishes. something like that, its really been a while since i saw that exerpt), so like killing ppl isnt his main purpose of visit. its more of hes always on the lookout for weaker (or at least those that take less mind games to kill) people to mercy kill, n it just so happens that he knows the manor n his mentor almost died from there, so theres a pretty good chance he can find some ppl that fall into this category n so it just so happens that he also has a job to do there. its still counted as a Job for him since no ones gonna tell him that embalmers dont actually. murder. 

so in my version, aesop only tries to sway ppl that he knows he can convince, n these ppl would typically be those very sickly ones like his mom (andrew im looking at u) or those with an actual death wish/ very weak will to live. but here aesop is choosing his “first victim”, and the criteria for that is... quiet? never mind “not evading him” and “not cranky” being on the list too, but that isnt quite what i was expecting from someone so dedicated to their duty of murder. sure he wants an easy first kill, but like. i dont think its consistent if his motive was really to continue jerrys bastard legacy. especially when the next paragraph is essentially him gushing over victor, that... sort of implies something else. or at least in the way i see it, since i believe that canon wants us to think that aesop just really loves to kill.

aesop likes victor. very much so. so much till he wants to kill him. which i guess makes sense cos he likes death, n now he likes victor. so he just. puts the two things he likes together. whats better than victor? dead victor. anyway the rest of the letter is more like “whatever, i technically should kill the others too but my priority is victor” so like. he confuses his (dare i say) yandere tendencies with his duty since the end goal for both is a body in a coffin.

having said that. i know i have aesvic brainrot but i also know this is one sided as hell (at least from the letter alone, not counting the letter shaped cookies in his birthday art that apparently belonged to victors birthday cake aha) n lowkey alarming since. the goal is to kill victor. i kinda want to interpret it as him genuinely wanting to be friends with victor (really wanting him to be a “silent friend”, maybe cos he doesnt actually know how to be friends with living ppl n is better with dead ones? therefore victor should be dead to be friends?) but not knowing how to n throwing in his obsession with death ends up with. this minor disaster waiting to happen. but i uh. dont know if this is valid. its valid to me at least, with my original interpretation of aesop. n again cos of his ingrained professionalism, he also kinda sees this as part of his job to send ppl off, so its another plus. not for victor, tho.

idk if ill add this yandere side in my aesop. i mean my boi has technically tried to kill victor multiple times in the past HAHAHAHA. maybe like sometimes he can be a bit obsessive. as a treat. but generally nah cos thats definitely gonna end up in a murder somewhere somehow n i cant. just kill victors here on the ask blog scene lashjflkjhdlfkjhas

so yeah that kinda takes care of the last part of the letter, as for the first part. as much as aesop hates jerry, i would also think hes pretty starved for affirmation (like i said jerry isnt going to be a good parent figure ever) n i guess it makes sense if the only times jerry has ever complimented him was aiding him in his kills n hiding the evidence, which might (?) add to his desire to kill (but that probably dies with jerry aha). so the way i see it as aesop is getting affirmation n takes it as a good sign instead of. remotely liking jerry. idk if im stretching it a little but i really dont like the take where hes okay with jerry. anyway we are ignoring that he hasnt killed before entering the manor cos that doesnt quite make sense to me (i wasnt dreaming about the letter from a lady stabbed in the face 36 times or so right???? right???????)

im also not like. trying to defend him, im just trying to make sense of his diary. boi has issues n is a little too far gone (not as far as canon tho), in my take very deluded in his way of showing kindness. literally cool motive still murder (or in canon, just murder?), please get therapy. but i just dont really like the direction that the letter was originally trying to imply, with him really just hell bent on murder without like. a clear motive (at least to me it isnt very clear since the last part really doesnt sound consistent with his supposed intentions). i mean i love being edgy with aesop every now n then but i dont think it would make for meaningful characterizations in the long run so. ill still be sticking with my original take on aesop with maybe a bit of yandere for victor cos thats always fun

[cattles-bians]

exes au part 14

post directory

obsetress:

obsetress: viola

em: holy shit

em: i think viola could hold a truly ridiculous number of things in her hands

em: danis like i have a little fanny pack right here- and violas like (turns up nose) absolutely not

obsetress: pre therapy viola during her relationship w dani: buys dani a birkin too, is like "here baby, so you don't have to use that fanny pack"

obsetress: dani's like "oh. i, um. like my fanny pack"

obsetress: viola therapy era after her relationship with dani: buys her a hermes fanny pack instead

obsetress: jamie rolls her eyes but dani is literally

em: i think a lot abt viola offering solutions completely unprompted n then being really offended when ppl dont take her up on it

em: pre therapy obvs

obsetress: SAME

obsetress: oh link is gross

obsetress: cost is grosser

obsetress: but viola lloyd dropping $2550 on a fanny pack for her ex gf? chefs kiss

---

obsetress: ok just remembered viola slouching or leaning or w/e n like

obsetress: brain practically applying that to exes au and imagining when and where she'd slouch n everyone's reactions to htat

obsetress: bc like she has perfect posture but when she chooses to do it it's a power move

obsetress: and i. hm

em: yeah

obsetress: viola sitting up stock straight when they first get to brunch and as soon as she's ordered her bloody mary shes pulling off her sunglasses and dropping them on the table and just sinking back

em: how to phrase this w/o sounding too much like a whore

em: actually no way to say this but like i feel v strongly abt the way we make women take up less space wrt to knees together calves touching type deal and i think maybe

em: maybe viola can manspread a bit as a treat

em: hate that term but i cant think of a better one

obsetress: nah she does n it's hot

obsetress: just had this image pre divorce of viola and arthur at marriage counseling on opp ends of the couch n arthur's sitting v tight close and vi is just

obsetress: leaning and spreading a lil

obsetress: the first time jamie sees her do it she's so taken aback

obsetress: because she's NOT expecting it

em: jamies like ah ok late in life lesbian deal and then jokes on her viola is fluent in dyke slouch

obsetress: jamie immediately trying to suss out just how long viola has been fucking women

obsetress: she says to dani later "i thought she was all proper like" and dani's like "she is" and jamie's like "so wot was that then" and dani's like "well, people are gay, jamie,"

em: ghfjhgljkJFDASJKKJFGA

em: jamies like so wait how long HAS viola been

obsetress: jamie: so you were vi's first serious girlfriend right? dani: dani: jamie: right???????

em: violas been fucking women longer than jamie has lbr

em: i mean shes clearly only 35, jamie,

obsetress: jamie: so... vi... viola: hm? jamie: you're, uh, gay, right? viola: obviously jamie: right. well dani told me you've been dating women since–– viola: since i was 15, yes jamie: but you married a man

em: violas like u went to jail everyone does stupid shit occasionally

em: jamie: so how long have you been dating women viola: since i was 15 jamie: no i meant like. in years viola raises her eyebrows and jamies just like haha nevermind fuck

obsetress: she tried!

obsetress: she tried

em: jamie on her 35th birthday pencilling 'many happy returns' into violas ????th 35th birthday card

em: yknow i think

em: i think something's afoot

obsetress: jamie, giving up on the direct approach

obsetress: slipping in next to rebecca at the wine bar

obsetress: "becca"

obsetress: "hi, jamie" "hi. how old is your girlfriend"

em: am fucking losing it thinking abt jamie like. realising how much gay energy viola has

em: like taken ABACK

obsetress: fksljfLKSDJFLJ

obsetress: just like

obsetress: why are jamies reactions to viola so funny

obsetress: montage of jamie realizing how much gay energy viola has

obsetress: jamie watching viola sitting

obsetress: jamie watching viola pick up a variety of glasses and mugs

obsetress: jamie watching viola compare hand sizes with dani, jamie's girlfriend and viola's ex girlfriend who she dated for literal years and whose hand size she definitely already knows

em: NOT THE HAND SZIES

em: they go for a walk and viola immediately complains about the sun and jamie's like

em: i have a spare hat but ur not gonna like it

em: its a snapback that says daddy or smthn in gold, owen got it for jamie for her bday, jamie Loathes it

obsetress: BYE

obsetress: viola looks better in it than jamie does

em: jamie has that

em: am i attracted to viola? moment

em: it passses

em: she has already compartmentalised the weird psychosexual power play

em: queen of compartmentalising

obsetress: jamie: had another one of those moments today dani: what moments? jamie: where i thought i might be attracted to vi dani: well, you did let her fuck you... what was it, four? times in one night, so

em: jamie; yeah but like that aside

em: jamie 'thats neither here nor there' taylor

obsetress: she is the queen of compartmentalizing tho

em: i was gonna be like. 'jamies like wait i dont remember saying four' but. i think she would tell dani

em: because the flip of that is dani callin up vi n i dont think she would necessarily

obsetress: i think she would and dani would make her anyway

obsetress: well make her is harsh but

obsetress: dani would very curiously ask in very convincing ways

em: lovingly coax it out of her

em: dani: what if i fucked you four times in o

obsetress: dani: let me do five

em: viola probably wears so many rings jamie doesn’t even clock the ever present thumb ring

obsetress: jamie just. writes it all off

em: am laughing abt like. viola v meticulously taking off every single ring and putting it in its proper location before...

obsetress: there is something. so hot about that

obsetress: im gonna scream i think

em: i was just meming and now im thinking abt it and

em: truly played myself

em: actually this is me refusing to unpack whatever the hell theo crain gloves made me feel

obsetress: sdkfmsldjfa

obsetress: fair

em: sublimate it into rings

obsetress: i just like um

obsetress: thinkin about when she and dani are together and like

obsetress: it's intentional and everything has its place but vi also makes a show out of it

obsetress: and like

obsetress: she's SO painstaking about it and definitely makes dani wait a little bit and

em: helps dani outta her big ass earrings

em: i mean dani doesnt even Need the help

em: viola meticulous lloyd

em: i mean she just wears so much goddamn jewellry

obsetress: she can tell when dani's getting impatient and goes even slower

em: viola has like

em: viola is one of thos ppl thats really into expensive watches

obsetress: !!!!!!

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: nice lil canon nod too

em: she drags dani to antique auctions n danis like i cant. actually tell the difference between the real and the forgery and violas like (passionately explains it for like 30 minutes) and dani is

em: like shes mentally checked out but also v intensely watching violas hands as she points to the parts of the watch

em: rebecca gets it tho

em: rebecca Gets It

obsetress: dani shoving vi into the bathroom at the auction house and tugging vi's hand between her legs v rebecca grabbing her own auction paddle and bidding against viola for the same watch

obsetress: (rebecca n vi fuck in the car on the ride home)

em: dani grabs a paddle n mimes spanking viola n then the auctioneer is like '$250 to 201' and danis like aw Fcuk

em: violas like i cant take u Anywhere

obsetress: dani gives her the 🥺😌and viola's immediately over it and pulling out $250

obsetress: dani: i didn't even want it, i was just–– vi: i know dani: what am i even gonna do with a–– vi: i'll sell it for $500 at a private auction next week dani: so technically i'm making you money dani, grinning: it's like i'm your employee dani: do you have any more assignments for me, boss? vi: dani get your hand out of my pocket i need to focu––

[littlebabycrybtch]

tbh... we have absolutely FAILED ppl with ea/ting disor.ders so fucking unimaginably bad, especially the visibly underweight ones. and we are still failing them to this day by avoiding valuable education out of discomfort and demonization. its genuinely appalling sometimes, to see just how Dangerously ignorant ppl are about this shit. bros listen 2 me rn. you are not a doctor, and you are Not going cure an ed with your almost laughably ignorant and malicious ‘reverse psychology’ bit where you call someone an ugly skeleton knocking on deaths door whos body needs to be banned from instagram forever, because you’re just ‘so scared theyre gonna die’ or w/e so you can legit pretend they dont exist, holy fucking Shit dude. that shame-and-shun tactic is so unbelievably dangerous. like, if you knew Anything REAL abt these disorders or frankly any mental health issues and cared enough to apply that then you would understand how thats just... pure cruelty. im sorry to be blunt but yeah this isnt a joke, it needs to be said that you are easily going to KILL SOMEONE with that kind of unfiltered uneducated IGNORANCE. it is inexcusably selfish, harmful, and ableist behavior, we have to stop this already.

imo there’s a Lot to be said about the toxicity spiral thats become the pro recovery movement and how much it rejects and speaks over the people its Supposed to support, becoming more about ‘anti symptoms’ than pro anything, but if you are gonna understand Anything new today at least learn this;;; hating yourself at unhealthy is Never ever going to be the key to loving yourself at healthy. being ashamed of yourself FOR being unhealthy, will NOT make you healthier, it’ll make you worse every time. im not tryna be mean but honestly how the actual FUCK do yalls brains work, it is SO wildly damaging to let yourself perpetuate this type of mindset, and then still claim pro recovery or w/e like recovery doesnt have to start at unhealthy??? like itll just happen overnight??? like that’ll help??? like if ppl catch you displaying symptoms of the disorder you LITERALLY HAVE, you arent allowed to talk abt it in any form without intense open negativity towards it and yourself, so ppl know ur definitely totally against it tho and not enabling urself, bc if you dont talk abt ur shame and embarrassment for it that means you arent recovering and need a mob after you??? thats how you think people are gonna get better????

ffs dont try to viciously shame yourself out of bad habits and treat your disorders like taboo, respect and love yourself wholly, the good and the bad, if you want to form better habits!!! ppl NEED to be encouraged to love themselves at unhealthy if they ever want to improve. you are not going to accidentally make them worse by not constantly shaming all their ‘flaws’, they are not MADE of ‘flaws’. by showing support for the mentally ill, you are not fucking supporting their ‘symptoms’, you are a supporting THE FUCKING PERSON EXPERIENCING THEM. and you DESPERATELY NEED TO DO THAT!! there is MORE TO THEM than their symptoms! there are things to COMPLIMENT them on besides their body! its gotten to this point that like. ppl are actually Afraid of just being nice to ppl with eds. they dont even wanna treat them like Humans outside of their disorder, all they see is a disorder. everyone is just SO afraid of ‘enabling’ them by not being vocally against their symptoms that they avoid them like the plague and dont even try to build them up, which is what they fucking need more than anything dude!! 

ppl think refusing to ever let an underweight person feel pretty or love their body where they are at is what they need and will force them to recover, or they think giving them goals like ‘you’ll be so much happier with a bigger body’ and ‘keep going one day you wont look so sick’ is at all different than their own internal dialogue, when the Truth (that people need to fucking know by now!), is that shame with mental health is incredibly dangerous, eds are diverse but theyre most often rooted in starvation as a form of self harm from an unwavering self hatred and feeling of failure or lack of control, one they already have deeply ingrained and will usually feel at Any Size, which is why so many feel unsatisfied and keep going and going till they die. the answer to this problem isnt gonna be inflicting more fucking self hate or pressure. thats gasoline on a fire. you cannot just try and. UNO REVERSE CARD THE ~RULES~ OF THEIR FUCKING MENTAL DISORDER and expect RECOVERY... oh my god dude, please, id laugh out loud if this wasnt so malicious.

listen, if you wanna help, like actually Care about Helping the way you claim the root of your attitude is, you need to make that person feel like they can love themselves, not try to make them ‘realize’ how ‘bad’ they are and how uncomfortable and scared they make you and how Not Allowed their behavior is, bc 1. body dysmorphia is a delusion,,, denial is a common association with addictive/self destructive behaviors,,,, you are going about it wrong if thats the first thing you try to accomplish, and 2. whether you like it or not ‘bad’ is gonna be your first checkpoint! who would be motivated to get better when all you’re doing is giving them an already failing grade and pushing them back??? 

you’re all just... so paralyzed by ignorant fear every time you interact with someone with an ed bc you are so fucking detached from it as a concept, but you wont LEARN how to BEHAVE AROUND THESE PPL! LIKE! and then you claim you act this way ‘because you care'. ok then why do you feel like you dont have to listen or learn??? why dont you see these tactics as needlessly cruel when its explained??? bc oh you cant ‘’’’’trust’’’’ ppl with eds to tell You how to help Them, right??? they’re probably lying, you know better than them ofc. smhhh, every other mental illness community gets to speak for themselves to the ppl without their experiences and therefore the ability to hurt them, sure, but not the sneaky ed people, they created pr.0/a.na/, (the ONLY existing space for encouraging mentally ill ppl in self destructive behaviors, obviously), so they dont know what they need, they have to be Told by Normal people bc their irrational brains are Just Too Broken. (/s)............ like.............?? it is Sooo fuckin prejudiced and disgusting tbh. we gotta do better than this. 

eds are almost completely left out of communities for mental health these days. its seriously so disappointing. if you ACTUALLY ‘care’, then ok you need to swallow your pride and do better, you need to Listen and not let your personal discomforts (genuine triggers excluded!) with their appearance or behaviors get in the way of how humanized and committed your decent treatment of their disorder is. tbr, sometimes you arent just ‘concerned’ about a person, sometimes how you go about your feelings is rooted in your inner urge to validate your own discomforts with them, which means it might end up more about you than about them, which hurts them. i mean for the love of god, these ppl are not ‘irresponsible’ for existing around others with their ~unhealthy bodies~, they are not a walking trigger and cant be treated like one, they arent contagious, they will not benefit mentally from hearing you say you think they should be physically banned from posting selfies or w/e, that isolation WONT prevent eds from ~~~spreading~~~ and will severely harm the person in question, you are not making a heroic decision to try and bully them away to ‘save’ others from ever being around them or save them from being around an “enabling” (supportive recovery/not shameful) community. you are not ‘fixing’ them by making them hate their underweight bodies. you’re LITERALLY just ignorant and prejudiced and ableist, your ideas are actually Very harmful, you are not a savior, you are making it worse, plain and simple. Please just start doing better already, its kind of a life or death situation here

[fantastic-rambles]

This whole ask is gonna be RLY random but i wanna let this out lol

Holy FUCK i would literally sell my soul for an Adam-centric movie. I heard someone say in a vid that they might as well have made the whole anime about him and it wouldve been just as(if not even more) entertaining, and bro SAME. And frankly the younger characters aren't remotely as fun to watch as the adults.

Also the young!🌹🌸 ship has so much angst potential, it's probably my fav Adam ship(im regularly entertaining the thought of adult!🌹🌸 being together in an alternate universe lol). Also a concept:🌹 going to 🍵s restaurant to drink wine with the bois and complain about his work and bitchy aunts(do u see how desperate i am for them to fix their relationship even tho it's pretty much impossible after all that's happened OTL)

One thing that sends me is how japanese fans(and the va's themselves) are so understanding of Adam's character and are able to fully enjoy the story. There's so much Adam content coming from them compared to the western fandom(which is understandable tho, considering how it's overflowed with whiny fancops).

And the last thing. I don't think ppl that think Tadashi has done nothing wrong truly understand how much he fucked up when they were young. Tadashi was literally the one and only person Adam was sure he could rely on and thought was never gonna betray him(im sure Adam loved 🌸🍵 but there was no transparency in their relationship compared to what he had w/ Tadashi). Tadashi not backing him up in that one moment is something far worse than Adam's dad burning his skateboard. He was literally the only person that truly knew Adam, and losing him left him completely alone, which what i believe actually triggered him into becoming desperate about finding his Eve(thus finding an equal AND someone who could potentially support him). Ofc that doesn't mean that the way he now treats Tadashi is ok.

Ok I'm done sry (￣▽￣)

No apologies! Always happy to find more non-Adam-haters!

100% agree. I would love more Adam content. Especially young Adam-Cherry-Joe. I would miss the Langa, but I wouldn’t mind not having everyone else. xD

My headcanons for them are different though. Although Loveblossom is my favorite Adam ship, I think that it’s an unrequited love from Cherry to Adam, because even when they were younger, Adam is too fucked up to have an actual relationship/understand love, and he wouldn’t consider it because his family wouldn’t approve of it. I also think that Cherry and Joe only ever saw Adam, but never Ainosuke: yes, he lets them see his face, but I don’t think he let them into that side of his life. And Ainosuke keeps everything he feels close to his chest to keep up his perfect image, so he wouldn’t vent it, even privately (other than maybe to Tadashi). But I also think he doesn’t mind his work and while he may not like his aunts, he does appreciate them, since they’ve warped his thinking. (I do want them to fix their relationship too, though. And Adam just showing up at Joe’s restaurant one day would be hilarious.)

Yeah. I wish I knew Japanese. DD:

And Tadashi definitely played a huge role in screwing up Adam. Yeah, it’s not entirely his fault/he also has some clear problems that contributed to it like his inferiority complex, but he really fucked things up. Absolutely agree with everything you said. I think that something happened when Adam was in America that caused him to start desperately looking for Eve, but Tadashi not standing up for him in the one moment that it mattered the most was probably the most painful/significant moment in Adam’s life and strongly shaped his character. Though it is possible that that moment was the trigger for his search for Eve, if it happened immediately prior to Adam going to America (which isn’t unlikely); I’m not sure exactly where it falls in the timeline.

Rather than the snake, I feel like Tadashi is more of a God (though he would never claim that title for himself, or even believe it): he brought Adam into the world of skating (the Garden of Eden) and is now trying to cast him out of it. And that hurts Adam so much, to be betrayed (repeatedly) by his best friend and teacher, someone he once respected. To have God turn his face from him and try to take away Paradise. >~~~<

So yeah, Tadashi is really multi-faceted and intriguing to me, since I think he was something like an Eve, but also a God, and now a Snake (though again, I think “God” is more appropriate than “Snake,” at least with what we’ve seen so far).

Something I’ve mentioned in other posts is that I believe Adam is still in a “state of innocence” and basically still a child inside due to all the abuse he suffered from his family stunting his emotional/mental growth. As Ainosuke, he doesn’t seem to have any personal initiative: he just obediently obeys his aunts and tries to please them by meeting their expectations. As Adam, he’s a lonely child who just wants to have fun doing what he loves and is trying to find a friend who shares his passion for skating. I believe that he has not yet developed a sense of morality, so he doesn’t realize that what he’s doing in both areas is wrong: he’s like a kid stomping on a line of ants. It’s wrong/harmful/spiteful, but he just doesn’t know any better.

[cosmosrival]

Any NSFW KamaxMaster hcs, Riri? Bless us with your knowledge!

HMMMMMM..... I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR A LITTLE BIT and i don’t know if it’d count as master*servant ship headcanons but... TAKE EM!!

also jus to make sure and to get p*dos off my blog for good: these are milf/dilf kama headcanons ONLY !!! final ascension!!!!! my content aint for weirdos!!!

ok lets go!!!

kama as a lover would be... very interesting to say the least, bc since they’re the god of love, you’d expect them to play the part !!! but their kind of loving isn’t the romantic type. They’re the god of Carnal love so despite knowing everything there is to know about lust, i believe that they’d be genuinely embarrassed when talking about vanilla stuff and very very soft and tame topics. they’ll tell u about every single position u guys could do and if ure a beginner they’ll be more than happy to teach u everything they know! But ! going on dates and holding hands???? (kama voice) THATS CRINGE DUDE!!!!! GO ASK PARVATI HOW ABOUT THAT????? but they’ll come. they’ll have a bit of a breakdown if u hold their hand but they’ll be there. and they’ll be there on time

AND I THINK THAT THIS IS WHAT MAKES THEM CUTE !!!!! 

i headcanon kama as being a vers !!! but they top by default ! hell, i don’t see them being a pillow princess type, even when they’ll let you dominate them they’ll just be powerbottoming and praising you, i think they can’t hold back on being talkative during the act!! BUT THEY CAN ALSO VERY EASILY ADAPT TO THE PERSON THEY’RE WITH, so if you’re more of a beginner/shy/passive, they’ll be the one coming onto you in this... lazy way, gently Ordering you to show them more (oh yeah they’re very well aware that youre the master here but whats a master to a god? ha), reasurring you that it’ll be fine and that if you’d rather keep the lights off, you guys can do that. their hair glows and their limbs are constantly burning anyway so they’ll find you in the dark no problem. though if you’re more dominant/aggressive/comfortable then they’ll see you as a challenge, even a rival to be quite honest. they know for SURE that you’ll never be better than them, but might as well crush your hopes before they get too high ya know? so even if you have them pinned down they’ll just taunt you, ask if this is all that you’ve got. ask if you can hold on for a few more rounds. ego bruising is part of being horny !!!!!! so you better be ready !!!

kama’s buttons are overall easy to push i think, because if you choose to come onto them with vanilla little touches, cute smiles and cuddles, they won’t know how to react. THEY’RE EASY TO TEASE ONCE U’VE BROKEN PAST THIS... Strong Lusty Exterior, especially if you compliment them on anything else but their skills in bed. call em cute when they’re angry. this one is an instant kill because they’ll just... be stuck. if they get mad you’ll call them cute again. and if they don’t get mad then it’s your win. STUCK !!! and their face is RED 

hmmmm....... i think masc kama’s cum is galaxy liquid. its just regular old cum and tastes like it but it just has star/milky way patterns in it. yeah. dont ask me about this one. just take it.

i’ve also been thinking about masc kama having an apadravya piercing... even if kama themself does not have a link to the kamasutra since it’s a book about human pleasure, in chaldea they’re much closer to having the condition of a “human” since they’ve become a “pseudo-servant” (they also have a demon inside em aha! though they’re obviously still a God and should be treated as such) so despite knowing everything that’s said in the book, they’d love to boast about it. ITS NOT THEIRS BUT THEY LOVE ACTING LIKE IT IS!!! CAREFUL WHEN GOOGLING THAT PIERCING NAME THO !!! ITS A COCK PIERCING OOOPPPSSSS!!!!! tho of course, since they don’t technically have a body, they can remove this jewelry at will to satisfy you however u wish !!

my fem lean kama piercing headcanons are right here !!! same headcanon as above, they can remove em/make em disappear since they can shapeshift at will !! 

i don’t see them as the type to dress up.... first because it’s a little annoying and if their emotions go haywire the cloth might burn... but they can definitely see the appeal. their “body” is already perfect so if you have a kink for something in particular they’ll provide and make sure to hide the best parts so you’ll have to imagine the rest. (or take em off...? ;)

OH BUT YOU ? THEY’LL LOVE TO DRESS YOU UP especially if they’re topping. it’s all part of their sadistic little humiliation game so make sure to accept all of their love okay?

their relationship with masters can vary, since we’re all different aint we. Aha. but one thing will stay the same and it’s the fact that kama trusts you to teach them about soft romance. in their dialogs and bio, it says that they can’t stand dummy couples but i believe that it’s because they genuinely crave it more than anyone. (especially since Rati doesn’t seem to exist in the fgo timeline :( ) being your most favourite sex friend? they can do that. being your sole lover?? UH..... (SWEATS)

what else does ree have..... OH YEAH !! i believe that kama is overall extremely kinky and it’s hard to surprise them. but since they’re so lavish, quite elegant and have this... aura of luxury to them, i think that the Gross Kinks(u know the ones. Real bad stuff i wont mention here) are an absolute no on their list. being the god of carnal love is one thing but they have standards!!!! no i will not come back on this headcanon and if ppl try to debunk it, stay away from me blog !!

i like to think that they genuinely adore porn sites and see it all as a tribute for themself. once again, they stay off gross shit but the vanilla tag? THEY CANT CLICK IT. ITS TOO EMBARRASSING TO CLICK. help them out.... ;) (opportunity to tease +1)

they’re very good at giving massages but i think they’d prefer receiving them most of the time !! though, if you’re into them and they’re blowing ur back out/riding u, they’ll make em feel extra special just for you

i don’t know if they’d have a favourite position... they’re very versatile, so they’ll go along with your preferences

they’re very open about following what you’d like to do since they’re already good at everything!!!!! u pick !!! then they’ll dive in and eat you out/suck u off right there

they’re a big spoon by default. yep. BUT BEING THE LITTLE SPOON MAKES THEM VERY SHY AND EMBARRASSED AND ITS CUTE coax them into being a little spoon sometimes Please

i think that they’d consider everything remotely sexual a way of worshipping them, so they’ll gladly watch u masturbate even if they don’t have to actively participate

ITS HOT AS HELL DUDE... TAKE UR CLOTHES OFF

i picture them constantly wearing this... lazy, arrogant smile, especially if you’re topping. think you’re that good, huh ?

though it vanishes very quickly if you start treating them gently. tomato ! ONCE AGAIN: EASY BUTTONS TO PUSH !!!! 

they’d find toys very funny and practical. so they’re not above using those on you and they’re also into you using it on them. THEIR RANGE IS WIDE AND THEY’RE EAGER TO EXPLORE i love them so much theyre such a dreamboat

OH THIS GOT LONG SO IM GONNA STOP THERE BUT IF U MADE IT ALL THE WAY DOWN: THANK U FOR READING MY BRAINROT!!!